


Break the Darkness

by ShadowHaloedAngel



Series: Tenshi [6]
Category: Jrock
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-14
Updated: 2012-08-14
Packaged: 2017-11-12 03:28:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,147
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/486149
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShadowHaloedAngel/pseuds/ShadowHaloedAngel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Yoshiki is not the only one who breaks...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Break the Darkness

_I can't stop crying. Why can't I stop crying? What is this feeling? It's like I'm falling apart... I've never felt like this before._

Akito sat at his desk in the darkness. He hadn't switched the light on, and he couldn't move. The tears slid slowly down his cheeks, and he stared, unseeing, into the void before him. He was so...exhausted. Empty, and utterly spent. It had been building up for some time, but he had continued pushing away the little signs, ignoring the stress until... it had boiled over. He had never thought it would come to this, never thought he would be one to break... but it wasn't the first time, after all. 

He was usually so good at hiding it, at keeping together. That loss three years ago had been the first time he had failed to do so. Yoshiki was not the only one with a suicide attempt in his past. Both had had close enough brushes with death, and both knew the pain of losing loved ones. Now, though.... he was lost again, and so very alone.

 

It was quite late, but Yoshiki knew his lover kept hours similar to him enough that he was likely to still be in the office. He walked in, the corridors of the studio familiar enough, and began searching for Akito's office, keeping an eye out for anyone who might be able to tell him whether the man was even still there. A young woman, dressed in a grey business suit and a white shirt walked past, obviously on her way out, but he reached out to her, catching her wrist. He was relieved when she was unflustered to meet him - so many people were fans, and though he loved them, it was sometimes incredibly frustrating when he was trying to do other things.

"Sumimasen. Nishimura-san wa doko ka?"

She paused, considering.

"His office is dark, I think he went home, but you're welcome to check... it's just down there, second on the left. I'm sorry I can't help more Yoshiki-san."

"Doumo Arigatou..."

"Dou itasimashite... sayounara Yoshiki-san."

"Sayounara..." 

He walked to the door she had indicated, and knocked softly. Although there was no response, he gave in to the urge to see where the man worked and pushed it open. The room was dark, small, a standard office-.... he froze. There was a figure in the chair, painfully isolated, terribly alone. 

"...Akito?"

The man looked up, and Yoshiki moved closer, feeling his heart ache as the light from the corridor glinted crystalline off the tears on Akito's cheeks. He stepped closer, reaching out towards him, cupping his cheek, tawny eyes falling closed as he /felt/ his lover's pain, that cold, heavy knot around his heart. Yoshiki shook slightly with the sheer weight of it, and unconsciously moved forward to pull the man into an embrace, burying his nose into Akito's hair.

"Tenshi...." the word was breathed, soft and heartfelt, a desperate plea for some kind of explanation. Akito could do nothing more than shake his head, though, and bury it against Yoshiki's chest as the pianist's hands rested on his back, gently easing the tension there, trying to offer him some kind of comfort. He didn't waste time asking whether the man was okay, there was no doubt as to that.

Neither moved, neither spoke and no sound broke that perfect silence, not even a sob. It was no longer so painful now that the space was occupied by another human, now that Yoshiki's warmth interrupted that terrible freezing chill, and Akito could feel himself slowly defrosting, slowly capitulating to the embrace.

Wordlessly, Yoshiki guided the man up, pulling him closer still, holding him as if he could absorb the darkness which shadowed his lover's soul. He knew, though, that it wasn't that simple, that it never could be. It was always so much better just to have someone /there/.

Akito moved like a puppet, or a doll, allowing himself to be moved, steered from the small office, out to Yoshiki's car. He was guided gently into the passenger seat, and Yoshiki walked around to drive them home. There was that moment of indecision - where should they go? Would it be better for Akito to be in the familiarity of his own home, or would that perhaps only make him feel worse? Would Yoshiki's home, and a change of scene be the better course? No... though he called it a home, that mansion was far too big and echoing, too unwelcoming. They would go to Akito's place, and hopefully the pianist's presence would be enough to mitigate the familiar darkness. 

The drive was short, and once they'd arrived, Yoshiki made no effort to hide his identity as he helped Akito out into the house. Usually they were both very careful about their relationship, not wanting anything to get into the papers, not wanting to give any fodder to the fans.

Yoshiki sat on the sofa, and pulled Akito with him. After another long moment, the man relaxed against him, into the embrace. No demands, still, just silence, and peace, and time. But he wasn't alone anymore. 

"Alright...come on, you'll feel better when you get out of those clothes and into something more relaxed, and you'll feel better for a shower. Let's go together, hmm? I'll be there. You won't be alone."

Akito paused and nodded, standing up. Yoshiki took his hand, and led him upstairs, pausing in the bedroom to loosen Akito's tie and deftly unbutton his shirt, parting the fabric over his chest, and pressing a soft kiss to the man's lips. He led him through to the bathroom, turning the water on to heat and helping him out of the remainder of his clothes before the pianist quickly stripped, stepping into the cubicle with him. It was nice to have the opportunity to deliver care rather than to receive it, much as he knew he needed it sometimes. It had been a long time since he had had a chance to look after someone. 

Yoshiki took his time over washing the other man, appreciating his body, showing affection to every inch. When both of them were finished washing, he turned off the water, and they stepped out. Akito looked slightly less shellshocked now, and moved more smoothly, more freely. He paused, then, turning to brush his fingers over Yoshiki's cheek, obsidian eyes meeting tawny.

"Thank you..."

He stepped closer, not caring that each of them was wearing nothing more than a towel, to pull Yoshiki into his arms, resting his head against the drummer's shoulder, the tears free to flow now, though he no longer needed to let them. Yoshiki had chased away the darkness. Angels brought the light into dark places, and his Yoshiki never failed to remind him that there was beauty in the world. Sometimes hope was other people.


End file.
